LOVE her that much
by CBBCHPDWFan
Summary: Alan is getting on with his new life in Devon. Little does he know that a special girl comes back from his past and secretly asks for answers. Will he recognise Susi? Does he tell this 'supposed' stranger his feelings?


Susi walked into her college. She was finishing of her course of fashion design. Soon she hoped she was going to move onto university, but she didn't know which. She met up with her friend. She looked excited.

"What's up Carly?"asked Susi. She wondered why her friend was so excited.

"Well, I've found out from above that a selection of students are going to be moving on to university early!" she squeaked.

"So?" asked Susi. Carly rolled her eyes.

"So, we may be some of those students! Think about it if we do move on earlier think what this could mean!" said Carly.

Susi thought about it, it would be great to move on to university sooner but she'd miss her college. Plus it was getting onto 1986 and she'd rather go sooner rather than later. Susi cracked a smile.

"That's great! When will we find out?" asked Susi. Carly thought about it.

"I guess we'll be sent letters."

When Susi got home her mother was in the kitchen. She was hardly happy these days, every time she went more into her fashion course her mother would get further away from her. Susi frankly didn't know about the fuss, she had been doing it for almost three years now.

"Hello mum!" said Susi. She grunted. Susi sighed, when will she have her mother back?

"Oh Susi before you left this morning you had a letter, it arrived like a second after you left." said her mother. Susi got excited; maybe it was about the university.

"Where is it?" asked Susi.

"On the armchair." She replied. Susi went to the armchair and picked up the letter. Thankfully, it hadn't been opened. It was like her mum to be nosy. Susi opened the envelope and pulled out the letter it started…

 _Dear Miss S McMahon,_

 _We are pleased to inform you that you've been offered a place in the University of Exeter._

"Exeter!" exclaimed Susi.

"What?" asked her mother, who was entering the room. She grabbed the letter before Susi could read the next line.

"Mum! That's mine." But her mother's eyes were already reading the letter.

"Why'd you want to go early? You've only got a few months left!" shrieked mother.

"What! Does the fact that I'm getting closer to the future that you don't want me to have frighten you!" Susi shrieked back.

"Well Fashion isn't a good career path! You should be doing Medicine or something else!" her mother yelled.

"Anything else you mean! You'd want me to do anything else rather then what I want to do! And anyway that boat's sailed! There is no turning back. You should of done something about that 3 years ago!" screamed Susi.

Her mother and she were always having arguments.

"It says once decided you should go there as soon as you can!" said her mother, resuming to the letter. Susi grabbed it and ran out the room.

"Susi get back here!" screamed her mother. But it was too late as Susi had already charged up the stairs and had looked herself in her room.

What was she going to do? Stay and wait a few months? Which meant she'd stay with her nagging parents, or would she go? Going would mean getting away from her ex-boyfriend Steve who constantly snogged blonde-haired Clara when she was near to make her jealous. She finally had the opportunity to leave that annoyance but that would mean leaving her friends and her college. On the other hand she'd be leaving anyway, better now than later. She'd decided, she was going to Exeter.

At dinner all was silent, she guessed her mother was trying to forget the earlier incident. Her father wasn't home till late, like usual.

"Mother, I'm going to Exeter!" Her mother looked up at her.

"Of course your not! That's all the way in Devon; you'll have to wait until you get offered a place at a university near here." said her mother.

"I mean it! There is nothing really here!" said Susi, she placed down her fork.

"NO! And I mean no! What is wrong with you! Since school with all those navvys! Then college with the fashion, now this! What's happened to Susi!"her mother shrieked.

"That's your Susi, but I am my own person! So you can't tell me what I can and can't do!" said Susi, she then stood up and strolled out the room, leaving her mother speechless.

A few weeks later Susi was unpacking her bags in her new apartment. It wasn't far from her university. Leaving her parents had been weights off of her mind. She wasn't going to start university until next week which gave her plenty of time to look around and unpack. She finished unpacking much sooner than she thought she was going to so she got dressed and plastered her face with make up, she was going to have a coffee or something.

She walked down the road and into a coffee shop that said _Grain Spill._ She thought that was a very peculiar name for a coffee shop, probably it was referring to coffee grains spilling or something. Grain Spill reminded Susi of the two familiar words Grange Hill.

Alan walked up the high street; he'd been living in the capital of Devon for a while now. He fancied a coffee, like always and headed for his favourite Coffee Shop called _Grain Spill._ Funnily, it reminded him of his old school. He liked it because it reminded him of his mates like Tucker and even his old love that his heart did secretly still beat for, Susi.

Susi went to the counter. She thought about buying a cake too when her eyes drifted too a mirror. She looked very unrecognizable to what she looked like at school, it was probably a Fashionista's perk. She decided to just order a coffee and clumsily dropped her change. She was about to pick it up when another hand leaned down before she could.

"Thank you." she said before lifting her eyes to her helper, it was Alan.

"Your welcome." said Alan. He looked too the lady behind the counter as if he didn't recognize Susi, wow! She really did look different.

Alan ordered his coffee and waited, so did Susi as her coffee was taking a while. It may not be awkward for Alan as he didn't recognize her but it was awkward for her.

As they were waiting Alan spoke.

"I'm always dropping change too." he said. Susi smirked.

"Yeah, I'm always loosing 50ps! Its dead annoying." said Susi.

"Can't be that annoying as I'm always loosing pounds!" They laughed. Then suddenly Alan leaned out a hand.

"Alan." Susi stared at his hand, what was she going to say? She thought of the first name that popped into her head. And shook his hand.

"Trisha." she replied, her mind had drifted to old school friend Trisha Yates.

Alan smirked. Susi noticed.

"What?" she said, smiling to.

"Nothing, it's just I knew another girl called Trisha." said Alan. _Yeah me too! The same one!_ Thought Susi.

Their coffees arrived.

"Really?" replied Susi, acting surprised. They grabbed a coffee and walked to the nearest seats.

"Yeah, at school." said Alan. Susi wanted to know why he was here in Devon; she decided to keep the conversation rolling.

"Where was your school then?" asked Susi.

"Not here, I've only really just moved here but it was called Grange Hill." Said Alan.

"That name reminds me of this coffee shop!" said Susi.

"Me too! That's why I like it so much." Said Alan. They laughed.

Alan hadn't ever really had a good job with girls, it was usually down to his weight but he did hit off with Susi and also his mate's girlfriend's cousin, Anthia. But somehow he was getting on with this girl, or bird as they'd say back home.

"So why did you move here then?" asked Susi, curiously.

"A job, why else really? I had a whole house to myself back home but I had to leave it behind." He replied, occasionally sipping coffee. Something about his statement hit Susi.

"Whole house? What about your da…I mean parents?" asked Susi, she had to remember to not be her.

"Well I lived in the place with my old man, but he died about two year's back." said Alan.

 _What! Mr Humphries died! Two years ago! Poor Alan!_ Susi now felt bad for not being their for him.

"I'm sorry." said Susi, she was genuinely sorry; the guilt was now eating her up.

"That's ok, It was two years ago plus I did have friends to make me feel better, although they were always with their girlfriends so it was kinda awkward." Said Alan.

A new kind of guilt hit Susi, the way Alan was talking it was like he was left out, like he couldn't find anyone else.

"What about you? You must have a girlfriend." Said Susi. Alan smiled as she said _must_ like he really was able to have a girlfriend.

"Na, no one recently." he replied. Susi sighed.

"Who was your last, go on, be honest." said Susi. Something in the girls voice made him want to tell the truth, and he did.

"Well the last girl I kinda went out with went to Majorca I think and I only went out with her too get over the previous girlfriend." Said Alan.

 _Phew!_ _It sounded like he'd had a few since her._ She thought until she asked the next question and heard the answer.

"Really, what was the 'previous' girlfriend called?" asked Susi, sipping her coffee.

"Susi." said Alan, he sighed slightly. Susi coughed on her coffee.

"That's a nice name." she croaked. Alan looked concerned.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, just a tickle." Said Susi.

"Ok." Said Alan.

"So when was this girlfriend, the one who moved away." asked Susi, maybe he'd seen the girl for a while, or maybe he'd been single all this time.

"A few years back." he replied, solemnly. Susi felt sad as she was sure he secretly felt. She knew that she dumped him but their was a part of her that secretly still cared for Alan.

"Poor you! You've been single all that time!" said Susi, her coffee did nothing to the dryness of her throat.

"Yeah." he said.

"Well I'm sure the girlfriend before the one who moved away, ummm Susi, wasn't it? I'm sure she had a reason." said Susi, she felt like a bad person. Alan looked up.

"They all do." said Alan. Susi looked puzzled.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well look at me, I'm not exactly a 'cool cat' am I." he said. Susi didn't really know what a cool cat was, but she knew what he meant.

"Really? Why's that." asked Susi.

"Well look at my weight." Said Alan.

"I'm sure Susi didn't go because of you weight." Said Susi, she felt very bad now. He had no self confidence.

"How'd you know?" asked Alan.

"Well, I'm guessing as she did go out with you, even with your weight, she did like you and to go separate ways she must've had a reason." said Susi, downing the last of her coffee.

"Yeah, well I still think of her a lot, the last I saw of her she was with some posh bloke, at her college." said Alan. Susi had to hold back a snort, Steve was definitely not posh!

"I'm sure she thinks of you." said Susi.

"Doubt it, I know I feel way more for her then she did for me otherwise we'd still be together, I loved her like there was no tomorrow, she was my everything. I can't describe it." Said Alan, deep in thought.

Susi had to hold back tears, he really felt that way, or feels that way. She realized that she was very similar to her mother after all. How could she of done this to Alan? She also realized if she wasn't Susi this would have been a very awkward conversation for chatting up a girl. Susi composed herself.

"You really loved her that much?" said Susi, quietly. Alan looked up at Susi.

" _Love_ her that much." said Alan. Susi was going to cry any second, she got up and ran out the shop not stopping at Alan's calls.

She turned at a corner of a quiet street and leaned against the wall, she cried to herself, it was like her heart was bursting open. She heard advancing feet, like someone was rushing. She saw Alan coming towards her. When he was a two metres away she began to walk in the opposite direction.

"Trisha! Trisha!" said Alan. Susi kept walking.

"Was it something I said?" he asked stopping. Suddenly a unconnected bond reconnected inside her. She knew what she was missing that constant emptiness, it was him. She turned around leaned upwards and kissed him.

It was like something lost was returning to her. In that kiss it sealed everything. Her arms placed around his neck. He didn't pull away but was hesitant. Probably because he'd talked so much about her and wasn't sure about kissing 'Trisha.' When they broke apart they stared into each others eyes. Susi had her back pressed against the street wall.

"That was, ummm, nice, Trisha." said Alan. Susi smiled.

"That was nice, but Trisha isn't my name." said Susi. Alan looked confused.

"What?" asked Alan. Susi smiled. She realized he had her in a firm grip.

"Your holding me very tight Alan, Been taking more of those judo lessons?" asked Susi. Alan was confused for a split second before realization hit him. He put a strand of her fringe behind her hair to study her face better. His face lit up.

"Susi?" She smiled.

"Hello Alan." said Susi. A massive grin spread his face and he picked her up and swung her around he then leaned in for a long long kiss. Their lips crushed together and they moulded together as one. All the lonely years seemed to vanish and it was just Susi and Alan in their own world as the world around them seemed to vanish too.


End file.
